Eight Video Games with the Vibiest Water
An earnest apology for excluding the 2011 Michael Phelps Xbox 360 Kinect game.
Water lessens our anxiety, wipes out entire towns, and covers nearly 70% of the globe. We need plenty of it to survive, but too much and we’ll drown. Water truly is that bitch. And video game developers have long attempted to recreate, reveal, and reimagine its most enchanting qualities, despite the fact that putting appealing (and functioning) water in otherwise landlocked games is tricky. Still, players flat out detest watery levels, claiming they bog down the storyline and rarely feel realistic. But the best virtual water, in my opinion, is the type that lets you splash about without a purpose, drift dramatically to the bottom of a pool like Percy Jackson, and gaze at cloudy digital skies on otherwise dry summer days.
The blogs that exist on this subject are quite serious and use terms like “rendering” and “reverb,” which make them irrelevant for my purposes here. Same for reviews that analyze gameplay, storylines, and frame-rate in water-inclusive games. (Although I highly recommend Daniel Hill’s “10 of the Best Uses of Water in Video Games” because it mentions Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker and honestly, didn’t we all want to be that peppy blonde sailing the high seas in his little green cap?)
Anyway, this list is neither comprehensive nor unbiased. It does not include Abzu or Subnautica, because I haven’t played those yet. And it’s not even ranked. These are merely games that got me back to loving water after years of competitive swimming, lifeguarding at pools with broken umbrella stands, and getting far too much sand everywhere at Robert Moses (fuck that guy) State Park. I hope these games offer you similar respite if you find yourself yearning for the sea in quarantine, in winter, or even in a distant, drier future.
Lego Marvel Super Heroes
Xbox 360 (2013)
Slip slop, slip slop, slip slop. I miss New York City in a desperately shallow way — I’ve rewatched Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2, genuinely considered a New Yorker subscription, and liked every video of subway rats on Instagram. The persistent ache for concrete and glass led me to download yet another Lego video game this summer, set in a fictional, condensed Manhattan. Lego Marvel Super Heroes is incredibly low-stakes, and when you’re not battling Galactus or rescuing cats for fake New Yorkers with perfectly cheesy accents, you can swim around the island. Your little plastic arms pinwheel through an uncharacteristically unpolluted Hudson River, accompanied by what sounds like a horse trudging through mud: slip slop, slip slop, slip slop. It’s a mindless, unproductive motion that lowers the heart rate and scrubs the brain clean of any pesky thoughts. I’m sad it didn’t make this list of best water sounds in video games.
Life is Strange
Xbox One (2015)
Water is Gay!!! The sneak-into-the-school-pool-after-hours-with-your-best-friend part of Life is Strange is so desperately, youthfully sweet. No matter the darker storylines running through the game, in this moment you are a teenager momentarily relieved of the (imagined?) pressure of being a teenager. As Max, the girl who can rewind time in short bursts, you dive in next to your rebellious, blue-haired partner and forget the world outside.
Jaws Unleashed
PlayStation 2 (2006)
GameSpot named it 2006’s “Worst Game Everyone Played.” And that’s a fair assessment: Jaws Unleashed is awful and addicting. I say that without having touched it since 2006. The game wrongfully demonizes sharks in the same way the films did. What saves it from total obsolescence is that gamers get to play as the eponymous shark, murdering beloved whales and marine biologists indiscriminately. It’s a bloody, inaccurate game with low-res graphics and yet…putting yourself in the shoes (nay, the fins) of a villain will always hold some dark curiosity. If you ignore the “fish are friends, not food” guideline from Finding Nemo, the game is worth an angry afternoon in the Atlantic.
Viva Piñata
Xbox 360 (2006)
You don’t swim in this game, but piñata animals with names like Quackberry and Chippopotamus do. Your job is to beat the ground of a farming allotment mercilessly with a shovel, then scoop out ponds for these delightful creatures. The game, which also came out in 2006, is the antithesis of Jaws Unleashed. It is peaceful, you spend the entire time raising, mating, and protecting alternatingly adorable and nightmare-inducing creatures. But the best part (even better than growing turnips to feed to mouse-like piñatas who live in a clock) is the days it rains. Soft sheets of water coat the world, delighting your hydrophilic residents, mellowing out the rest, and drawing patterns in your carefully dug ponds.
Lego Pirates of the Caribbean: The Video Game
Xbox 360 (2011)
Okay, you got me! I’m not a gamer, I’m an influencer in the pocket of Big Lego. But seriously, the best part of this game is that when you swim out too far, a shark launches from the depths to swallow your little plastic body whole, temporarily condemning you to Davey Jones’ locker for daring to test the treacherous tide. It serves as a low-risk confirmation of our collective, sensible fear: the ocean hosts an unnerving array of deadly, uncaring beings.
Kingdom Hearts II: Atlantica
PlayStation 2 (2002)
Number two in the water is gay category: the level in Kingdom Hearts where you turn into a merboy and get to hang out with Ariel from The Little Mermaid is god-tier. The way the seaweed sways in the water, the pleasant Muzak version of “Under the Sea” on a loop, the blueness of it all! As someone who had a crush on both Sora and Ariel, you’ll never catch me complaining about how hard (and scary!) it is to defeat Ursula at the end.
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Xbox 360 (2006)
Oblivion (or Skyrim, I guess) is one of those games where you spend hours customizing your avatar and never see it again. But you do see the water, and it is beautiful. Thanks to its free roam format, players can run around the medieval world without doing any work, hopping on horses and collecting berries willy-nilly. And thankfully, you can go swimming. I would like to believe my interest in history came from some profound sense of its importance in everyday life, but it really started with a desire to eat soup and bread in ancient taverns after a long day spent frolicking in a virtual lake. Throw out the storyline, scale back the world-building, and delete the bonus levels. Honestly, this game was an earlier attempt at cottagecore, one with a few goblins and spells thrown in.
Gone Home
Steam (2013)
The creators of Gone Home call it an interactive exploration simulator, and it won more than a dozen gaming awards for its heartfelt storyline, suspense-building, and challenge to the action-oriented style of most games. Gone Home makes the player a college student returning home to an empty house, rife with clues and dimly lit hallways. But what lands this game on the list is the perfectly-crafted suburban thunderstorm ambience that accompanies the gameplay. This feature especially shines through when you finally reach the greenhouse.